Confidence is a funny thing. In my old (super-old but really not at all old) age, I've started to think more about how I am perceived by people. Not because I want to change myself to fit any preconceived notions, but because it's always good to know what vibes you put into the world. You know what comment I get a lot? "You're just so confident!" It always baffles me. Sometimes I am confident, a lot of times I'm not. Especially in things that I really love or work hard at. Backwards, no? Yes...but I don't think I'm alone. Keep reading to see what I'm sayin' and see me put my money where my mouth is (such a weird expression..) Video after the jump...
As many of you who either read this blog, follow me on twitter or on instagram or youtube you know or have seen - I'm a dancer. I LOVE dancing. I love performing, I love teaching, I love practicing, I love dancing around at home in my living room, and have mastered the art of car-dancing as well - which is, perhaps, the most complicated kind. Jamming out while still maintaining proper road concentration takes practice people, practice. I've been dancing for years, and I'm just NOW starting to get some confidence in it. It feels good to know that hard work has paid off and, through you may not be where you want to be, you can see how far you've come.
What you may not know is I also sing - which I've been doing longer than anything else. I love to do it, I also have the least amount of confidence in it. Why? Because it's so close to my heart that I put all types of un-needed pressure on myself to do it a certain way or sound a certain way and create all of these expectations that no one else has of me. It's silly, but in talking to others about this, I've come to find I'm not alone. It's hard to put yourself out there in the world to be judged, and stand in you're own confidence in a gift you've been given no matter what others think. I have also found in my young (not that old but feels kind of old) age that the only way to gain confidence and effectively get over yourself is to do just that. Put yourself out there and do things that make you wildly uncomfortable. If you are waiting for the right moment, when you feel like you can do it comfortably, you'll wait forever. Forever-ever, forever-ever. The more you do it, the more confident you will begin to become. It takes a while, and there are some bumps along the way - but, as I always tell myself when I'm getting ready to talk myself out taking a chance - a year from now, you'll wish you started today - so you might as well go for it!
And so I've taken my own advice. I'm super nervous to share this, but I'm doing it anyway! A couple friends and I got together to have some fun and jam. No pressure, no expectations - it's not perfect, but we just wanted to do something we love because we love it. Forgive my odd facial expressions/hand motions. I was trying to look at the camera - in my head I was thinking, "look up you nervous weirdo!" But my head was like, "nah."