Wednesday, October 21, 2015

3 Reasons I'm a Liar

Does this look like the face of a liar? The answer is yes...

Are you a liar? Are you sure? Look down, are your pants on fire? I'm told that's a good way to tell...

Confession: I lie constantly. I’m trying to rid myself of this affliction, but it’s difficult. There is one person that’s typically on the receiving end of these untruths. I feel like it’s time to apologize, so I’m going to do it publicly. I think she’ll appreciate it, but she’s super hard to please…

I do a lot of lying to myself ya’ll. I've realized I have to work on this as of late. There are many lies I have stopped telling myself over the years but, being the creative person I am, I’ve come up with brand new and improved sparkly extra-absorbent type lies. Soooo... yaayyy me? Here are the big 3 - see if, perhaps, they sound familiar: 

1. I tell myself I'm not good enough.
If you hang around with me on social media (heeyyy!) or know me in life, you know how much I love dance, music, and all things art. I put a lot of time into practice, into creating, into generally trying to be better than I am. I’ve been doing this for years - but somehow, when it comes to showing my own work to others or putting myself out there in any way the first thought that shows up is, “It’s not good enough. You’re not good enough.” Now, while what I do may not be everyone’s cup of tea (this is, of course, assuming that everyone likes tea. That can’t be true - I’m lying again ya’ll. Just pray for me) the fact is that you and I have something we are passionate about on some level. 

The only way this thing is going to lead us where it needs to is if we use it. And the only way to use it is to open it up for others to see/ feel/ taste/ learn/ view/ praise/ criticize /love/ hate/ use/ reject/ find amazing. If it’s in your heart and you work hard at it, you are good enough to give it a try. So am I. Some people won’t get what you do and that’s cool. You can still be friends with them (or not. whatever, it’s your life) but the main thing is to just let whatever “it” is do it’s job and lead you to the next step. However good you think you are - the good news is you don’t have to be good enough to “succeed” at it - only good  enough (read: brave enough) to attempt it and humble enough to accept what’s next.

As you can see - my pants are not currently on fire so, that's good.

2. I tell myself I am replaceable.

Now, if you remember awhile back, I told you that you were replaceable  - and now I’m about to tell you that you’re now it seems like I’m an indecisive liar. Awesome. In reality, both are true. The fact is, if you believe the lie that you are not good enough, someone will step in and do what you should have done. Maybe better, maybe worse. That, however, is not the point. The point is they won’t do it like you. Sometimes when I feel like someone else is around who can do something in a way I perceive as “better,” I get insecure. I figure, 'well, I guess they won’t need me anymore.' That’s quite the self defeating and, to be real, prideful attitude. We are not supposed to worry about who can do what better than whom (I am almost certain that sentence makes sense. almost). The truth is that I am supposed to run my race, and do my thing and that is that. The rest takes care of itself. 

3. I tell myself I have nothing to say.
There are certainly times when I have nothing to say – I mean literally – I just don’t really feel the need to talk (let all my fellow introverts say, “hey!” Just kidding, I wouldn’t do that to you. I know you want to sit quietly in a corner and read this alone. Just think it instead.) But I do have a point of view. I have ideas. And you know what, some of them are really good and important. At times, however, I tell myself that what I have to say isn’t deep enough or probably already said it or some other random excuse based in nothingness. Enough with wondering if it’s “enough.” When you are right, you are enough. When you say something wrong, you are enough. When you sound weird, you are enough and when you’re done reading this you will have had enough of the word, “enough.”

So, if you are a liar like me, let’s vow together to tell ourselves the truth from now on. I mean, tell other people the truth, too probably. But ya gotta start somewhere. 

Photo Cred: @StyleOptimist

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